"A ship in a harbour is safe, but that is not what ships are built for." I came across this quote this morning and it's kind of being rolling around in my head all day. Right now I feel like I am a ship in a harbour and that harbour is quite comfortable and I could stay here for the rest of my life and be perfectly fine. But the question that keeps coming back to me is "what if there is more for me?" What if this stage of my life isn't the best it could be and what if I am indeed made for more than sitting in a harbour?
What I'm really relating this quote to is my OCD journey. There have been stages of my life that I have made significant progress and stages where it seems like I have regressed. Lately, I have been in a stage of progress as I talk about on a couple of our latest shows and although that is great I just keep thinking about if this is the best it can ever be? I am not exactly the eternal optimist but three years ago I never thought I would get to this stage in managing my ocd either so what if that is true for the next three years of my life?
I feel like I have two choices and neither of the choices are wrong and neither of them are particularly bad. I can stay where I am right now in my OCD journey and be completely content with all the forward progress I have made over the past year or I can take a step out of my harbour and maybe realize yet again that my life is more than I can currently see. I don't know what the ocean of my life holds for me but I would hate to think that I never got out of the harbour just because I feel good enough with where I am right now.
My harbour is my safety net, it is the point I have come to where OCD doesn't rule my life anymore. My ocean is Exposure Response Therapy (ERP) and all the infinite possibilities of just how much better I can become by going through it. The ocean is wide and vast and at times no doubt tumultuous but if this is what I'm really built for then this is what I need to do. I know there will be pain and anguish and severe emotional stress going through ERP but if that gets me to the point where I am living to the fullest extent possible then won't every tear and exposure be worth it in the end?
To live, to REALLY live requires of me more then I may think I have initially but something in me knows that I need to get out of my harbour, something in me knows I am built for more and welcomes the challenge of reaching my full potential.